So it has been a while (okay, a LONG while) since I have posted anything on here. Life has been going relatively well. And I guess the general lack of crazy/sad/scary/mad has had a negative impact on my writing as well. As I write this, I realize this makes it seem like a lead a charmed life; maybe I do, but I argue I don't - at least not entirely.
Since I last posted March 2012, I have determined that sometimes you just need to walk away. Not something I tend to do easily. That guy I had been hanging out with but couldn't quite read - I stepped back to allow him to step forward if he was interested. He didn't - I hold because he wasn't. As so it ended or faded away. My friends still liked him and wanted him around but for me it was too painful to see him around and constantly wonder what might have been. (I hate to admit but I may be a wistful dreamer more than a realist at times.)
While I was licking my wounds from this I leaned on the shoulder of a friend who had been giving me dating advice while with this guy. Oddly enough when he had been giving me advice, I more than once asked myself why this friend wasn't available because, "he seems to have this figured out and has everything I am looking for." This friend was also getting over a breakup. They had been together even longer and he was held to the relationship by a healer/savior complex; he thought that if he just kept trying it would save her.
And so summer of 2012 we drove - literally. We drove all around Fargo and Moorhead and talked. We talked about the breakups, the weather, life, faith, work, family, you name it. Driving turned into shared hobbies including trips to the local farmer's market. Farmer's market turned into suppers and wine. Suppers and wine turned into confessions of "I think I really like you, let's give this a chance".
Now, on the eve of 14 months together, here we are still together and happy as can be. Not that life is all bliss, because it's not. I have had pitfalls in my year some of which have made me wonder if I would make it through. But in the end it is a decision. I need to decide what I will accept and not accept in my life. And for now, I choose to focus on the positive.
Today I decided enough was enough. Over the past 2 years I have almost completely dropped my normal workouts and gained 20+ pounds. I started a 30 day ab challenge and 30 day squat challenge today. I am 50 squats, 15 sit ups, 5 crunches, 5 leg raises and 1-10 sec plank into this endeavor. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about day 30 when I get to do 250 squats, 125 sit ups. 200 crunches, 65 leg raises, and 1-120 sec plank. But each day I will increase and each day I will get stronger. This is a challenge that wouldn't have been a challenge 2 years ago and that is what I am looking to get back to.
To come alongside my new workout plan, I have also decided I need to start eating healthier again too. Tonight for supper I had a big romaine lettuce and spinach salad with carrots and mushrooms. I also baked a piece of whitefish to go with it. One day at a time with this too I guess.
