random ramblings

Death is all around us. Working in the nursing home I became rather accustomed to it in fact. While it is hard to let go sometimes it is for the best. That however doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt.

Last night I was talking to one of my friends and former co-worker from the nursing home and she had been browsing the obituaries (a casual habit) online and saw that one of out residents has passed away. For this resident death could perhaps be considered a blessing. She was elderly, her body was riddled with arthritis and she had numerous other ailments as well. She was one of my spunkiest residents despite this.

When I got to work today I casually greeted my co-workers as normal. The mood was a touch melancholy but nothing abnormal. As I was chatting throughout the morning I learned that the one gal’s cat had dies this morning. She is a much stronger person that I am.

If you are reading this you know me relatively well and thereby know that I am extremely attached to my cat. If something were to happen to him I would not be at work. In fact I would likely have other people missing work/school to be with me for at least a day. Case in point, when George went in for his “standard, happens to most house cats” neuter surgery I sat pensively at home waiting for the phone to ring so I could go pick him up. Practically in tears, and in tears at points, I sat staring into space dodging the taunting of my family who thought I was being foolish. I didn’t agree.

Two days ago one of my friends changed their Facebook status to “is mourning.” Silly I know to keep tabs on people via Facebook but it works. When I contacted him as to why/what he was mourning his reply was that someone he knew had been murdered. Death is one aspect of life that we accept, even view as inevitable, but the notion that someone has such animosity toward another person (or themselves in the case of suicide - but that is another topic for another day) that they would be willing to take their life is beyond fathomable for me. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that it happens on a daily basis but I still cannot see it as a justifiable act.

You see I have this problem. I care about people - animals included. As a result it breaks me a bit each time I hear of or experience something bad (death could be classified as something bad) happening to someone, especially someone I know. So while I can Acknowledge and accept it, death is not something I care to think about - at least not often. Unfortunately it has presented itself repeatedly recently and I needed to address it.